blog #16

today’s song of the day is actually something i wrote over a year ago. i just found it in my notes and resonated with the feelings the words that i wrote evoked because that’s what i am currently feeling.

it’s funny (not actually) i remember writing this song after a joint therapy session with my mother. i drove to the beach after because i was filled with both so much disgust and resentment towards her as a human being. i was trying to explain to her that despite our differences her ability to check out mentally and do anything but help me when i’m struggling is what hurts the most.

during this session i accepted the fact that she had genuienly convinced herself that she was the real victim in my childhood and that she did nothing wrong (after psychological research this is actually very common and made me understand her more) that being said, it is a tough pill to swallow. the idea that the person who pushed you out of their vagina did absolutely nothing to protect you against evil people, places, and faces, only for her own financial gain.

so this song is about the feelings i went through when processing the things i mentioned above. i am still struggling with adjusting to this truth everyday. i don’t really know if i will ever not struggle with this, but i pray and wish upon all the stars every night, that there is a silver lining in my story. (said every struggling artist ever)